Finding My Voice: Learning Boundaries in Christ

As someone who suffered trauma as a child, boundaries never came naturally to me. I grew up believing my voice didn’t matter, that it was safer to stay quiet, and that my worth was tied to how well I kept the peace. Saying “no” felt wrong, protecting my heart felt selfish, and standing up for myself felt impossible.

Maybe you know what that’s like. Maybe you’ve been there too.

But here’s what I’ve learned: God never asked me to live voiceless or boundary-less. That wasn’t His design. Trauma taught me to stay small, but Christ taught me to stand firm.

When I gave my life to Jesus, He began to heal those broken places. Slowly, I learned that my voice mattered because I was created in His image (Genesis 1:27). God Himself speaks life with His words - and He gave me that same ability.

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “the tongue has the power of life and death.” When I stayed silent out of fear, I wasn’t protecting myself - I was agreeing with the lie that I had nothing to say. But in Christ, I discovered that my words could bring life, not only to myself but also to others.

I used to think boundaries were unkind. If I said “no,” would people still love me? If I protected my heart, would I push people away? But God began to show me that even Jesus had boundaries.

• He often withdrew to pray (Luke 5:16).

• He chose who to let close (John 15:15).

• He said “no” to demands that didn’t align with His Father’s will (John 6:15).

Boundaries aren’t about building walls; they’re about creating space for God’s will, peace, and protection. They keep out what is harmful and make room for what is holy.

Healing taught me that it’s not only okay - it’s necessary - to set safe boundaries. Trauma says, “Keep quiet.” Jesus says, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no” (Matthew 5:37). Trauma says, “People won’t love you if you stand up for yourself.” Jesus says, “You are already loved with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3).

Every boundary I’ve learned to set has been an act of faith. It’s me trusting that God will hold me, even if others don’t understand. It’s me believing that peace is worth protecting. It’s me saying, “I am a daughter of the King, and I will live like it.”

If boundaries feel hard for you, I get it. But I want you to know this: you don’t have to keep living without a voice. You don’t have to keep saying yes when your soul is screaming no.

Christ has given you permission to speak, to protect, to rest, to choose wisely who and what you allow close. You are worth safe boundaries because you are worth love, freedom, and healing.

And sometimes, the holiest thing you can do is simply say: “No, that’s not okay.”

Because in Christ, your no is powerful, your yes is beautiful, and your voice is sacred.

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for reminding me that my voice matters to You. Thank You for showing me that boundaries are not selfish, but sacred - places where Your peace can dwell. Heal the broken parts of me that still struggle to say no, and give me courage to speak truth in love. Teach me to walk in wisdom, to guard my heart with grace, and to honor You in the way I care for myself and others.

May every boundary I set reflect Your love and bring me closer to the freedom You died to give me. In Your holy name, Amen.