When You’ve Known the Dark, the Light Changes Everything

*Gentle Note to the Reader

This piece speaks honestly about darkness, addiction, and spiritual oppression. While details are shared with care, some readers may find parts tender or stirring.

Please read at your own pace. Pause if you need to. And know this - nothing here is written to shock or shame, but to testify to hope.

If you’ve walked through darkness yourself, you are not alone. If you’re still in it, this is an invitation - not to have it all together - but to let light find you.

Jesus meets us exactly where we are.

You are safe here.

And there is freedom for you, too.

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There is a kind of darkness that doesn’t just surround you.

It enters you.

It reshapes how you think, how you feel, how you see yourself - and eventually how you see the world.

It lies to you.

It numbs you.

It convinces you that this is all there is.

And if you’ve never been there, it’s hard to explain how heavy it is, how real it feels, how final it sounds.

But when you have lived in darkness - real darkness - when you’ve tasted it, breathed it in, and wondered if you would ever find your way out, meeting Jesus doesn’t feel like religion.

It feels like rescue.

Jesus doesn’t step into darkness politely.

He interrupts it.

He exposes it.

He overcomes it.

When you are trapped in darkness, you don’t need to be convinced that light matters.

You feel it the moment it reaches you.

That is why some of the most undeniable, radical transformations come from the deepest places.

From drug addicts who thought they were too far gone.

From those enslaved to pornography and secret sin.

From men and women who practiced witchcraft or Satan worship.

From rock musicians and artists who chased fame, excess, rebellion, and identity in darkness.

From people who tried to numb pain with substances, sex, power, or counterfeit spirituality.

They weren’t curious.

They were desperate.

They weren’t looking for self-improvement.

They were looking for deliverance.

Darkness is not just bad choices.

It is bondage.

It is captivity.

It is blindness.

And light does not negotiate with chains.

It breaks them.

I don’t write this from theory.

I’ve been there.

I battled an addiction to rock cocaine that nearly wiped me out.

I remember terrifying moments of darkness - real darkness - moments where fear was thick, where evil felt close, where I knew I was losing myself.

I have seen the devil.

I have felt the weight of that world.

And it is not something I speak of lightly.

There were moments I did not think I would survive.

Moments where I believed I was too far gone to be rescued.

But Jesus came for me.

He reached into places no one else could reach.

He pulled me out when I could not pull myself out.

He broke chains I had accepted as permanent.

Jesus did not just save me from addiction.

He saved me from darkness.

Once you have been pulled from a pit you could not climb out of on your own, you don’t argue theology - you testify.

Because when you’ve known the dark, His light doesn’t just change habits.

It changes everything.

It changes who you are.

It changes how you see.

It changes what you believe is possible.

This is why the gospel hits differently for some of us.

We are not impressed by religion - we are undone by mercy.

We know what it is to be blind.

So when we finally see, we don’t whisper it.

Because when you’ve known the dark,

the light of Jesus doesn’t feel optional.

It feels like life.

It feels like freedom.

It feels like home.

Jesus, we come to You without masks, without polish, without pretending we’re okay.

Some of us have lived in darkness so long it felt familiar.

Some of us learned how to survive there - how to numb, how to hide, how to harden our hearts just to make it through.

But You are Light.

Living, conquering, rescuing Light.

For the ones who feel too far gone - reach them now.

For the ones who believe they’ve ruined everything - interrupt them.

For the ones who have made their home in the dark - break in.

Shatter chains we’ve grown used to carrying.

Expose lies we believed because they felt safer than hope.

Silence every voice that said we were unworthy, unlovable, or beyond redemption.

Jesus, we don’t want a better version of ourselves.

We want freedom.

We want truth.

We want You.

Pull us out of pits we cannot climb out of.

Heal minds fractured by pain, trauma, addiction, and fear.

Restore identities that were stolen long before we knew what was happening.

Let Your light touch the places we’ve protected, avoided, and numbed.

The places we’re afraid to name.

The places only You can reach.

And when You rescue us, give us courage to testify.

So others still sitting in darkness might see the light and believe they are not alone.

We surrender our darkness to You.

And we receive Your light.

In the powerful, liberating name of Jesus,

Amen.

“For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves.”

~ Colossians 1:13

If any part of this stirred something in you -

if you recognized your own story in these words,

or felt a quiet tug in your heart - please know this:

You are not too far gone.

You are not beyond rescue.

And your darkness does not disqualify you from God’s love.

Jesus is still reaching.

Still rescuing.

Still bringing light into the deepest places.

You don’t have to understand everything.

You don’t have to clean yourself up.

You don’t even have to have the right words.

Just be willing.

If you want, whisper His name.

If you can, ask Him to meet you right where you are.

Light is closer than you think.

And freedom is possible - for you, too.

With all my love,

Rose